Thursday April 7, 2011
Theme: Scream-Free Family
Weekend Music links on iTunes: Glory to God Forever, God With Us, Attention, 'til I See You
Read: Proverbs 4:1-11
Think: Do you ever find Pastor Ben confusing? Maybe he’s just a whole lot smarter than I am, but sometimes I have a little trouble following him. Take the sermon from this past weekend for instance. As a husband and father with an occasional screaming issue, I was pretty open to his thoughts on building scream-free family relationships.
Pastor’s first point made a lot of sense – good relationships require space. He spoke in particular of giving children some independence as they mature. But then he turned around and said that scream-free relationships require structure, and that parents need to establish boundaries for their children. Isn’t that a contradiction?
Then he did it again. He noted the need for consequences and follow-through as parents, so that our children will learn to choose their actions carefully. But in addition to these, Pastor Ben advocated forgiveness. Wait, I’m supposed to follow-through and forgive?
Of course, these aren’t really contradictions. Giving a child the right amount of freedom within appropriate boundaries is the ideal that balances space and structure. Forgiving while enforcing consequences reflects the way God loves us. We err when we focus too heavily on one side of the equation. We need to provide both space and structure to our loved ones in balance. In disciplining our children, we must follow-through, but we must also forgive.
The real challenge is figuring out how to balance the competing needs. How much space is does my child need? How much structure is too much? What are appropriate consequences for a particular misbehavior? The answers to these questions come with wisdom, which God gives to those who pursue it. It would be nice to be as smart as Pastor Ben, but I think I’ll ask for wisdom first.
Do: Copy down Proverbs 4:7a and place it where you will see it during the day. “Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom.”
Pray: Father God, I want to the best for my family relationships. I need wisdom to know what I should do. Please, God, make me wise. In Jesus name, Amen.
The eDevotional is written each week by a team of volunteers from Timberlake Church.